Psychophantic Sedentary Symbiosis

I pulled out my headphones in line at the grocery store to pay for my groceries (mostly booze,) and the girl checking my ID made the mistake of asking the now ubiquitous question: "what are you listening to?"

"Bible of the Devil"
"Oh" (She picks up the bottle of Tequila, looks at the rum) "I guess this explains it"
"No, that's what the limes are for"
:Total Shock and Confusion:

She was nice, but totally terrified of the fact that I might not believe in god. Totally put off. I'm just another guy in the store buying booze, but the fact that I said Devil in public whilst wearing sunglasses suddenly makes me the enemy of the fucking state.

Yes, I drink. That's why I came to the place with shelves of liquor. Drugs, booze, cigarettes, sex, gambling, lying, cheating, cursing, motorcycles, yes, all of it. I have a definite sour taste for the law, and for a majority of society and their stupid pallid incompetence. I've been in rock bands for more than half my life, and I've done done more drugs than most people can name. I've traveled the world, and all anyone can ever say is "how?" Easy. Work hard, play harder. I've read the satanic bible as many times as the real one, and the bible of the devil the band is named after the codex gigas, which IS A CHRISTIAN BIBLE. Do these people forget that you'd have to believe in God to believe in the Devil? I am an ATHEIST! I don't believe in fairy tales of any kind!

Everybody else gets caught up in shopping at whole foods, balancing their lifestyle, and marching the straight and narrow right on to the collection plate at megachurch. Idiots. We're all going to die, and Horus will not be taking us to get our hearts weighed, much less will Jesus stand in robes judging our every life choice. Jesus, contingent on existence, would most likely not care. What a forgiving chap, right? When we're all rotting in the ground, the ground will not care how many shots of tequila you took two hours before work.

Religion is stupid. Just a thought.
Stay tuned for updates from the road. I'm leaving Kalamazoo for a while.

How pretentious do you have to be before you google yourself?

You've done it, right? You saw that blinking cursor on the search bar, and you couldn't help yourself. Maybe just to see your alter ego, maybe to add hits to the counter. It's a sad creature of malevolent self-pride to type your own name into a google search. Today, I did it. It wasn't the first time, it won't be the last. I was honestly surprised by what I saw. What's my score today? 3,190 hits. Granted that includes the first name "Zach," but honestly, I don't know how my name came up 3,190 times on the internet. I have 121 friends on Facebook today, and 0 followers on twitter. I own a website, thenewscum.org, which has had a few hits from stumbleupon, but nothing much. I gave out about a hundred stickers or so, and haven't got a single comment about the site from someone I don't know. But they are all over the Ohio turnpike rest stops, I know that! Sure, there's the podcast as well; The New Scum Fix, but there's only 13 episodes. I'm trying to create a presence on the web, of course, who isn't? The thing is, though, where do we draw the line? How do you take someone seriously on the internet? I'm just as real as any other person, but how can we quantify success these days? Some of the most brilliant minds on the internet are just normal guys like you and me, that just happened to have an early stake in some form of electronic exchange that gave them e-notoriety. So how prententious do you have to be before you go and start googling yourself? Not so pretentious at all, it would seem, but pretentious enough to enjoy surfing through thousands of results. You can rest assured, though, that no matter how much your checking account fluctuates, google will do nothing but retain more and more information about you and who you are as time passes. When does pretentious turn to terrifying?